This was one of more unusual PareaGroove experiences. We held our Zoom on a Monday since for some of us it was a three day weekend (and for most of us every day is still Blursday). As people rolled in we talked about the Vice President debate the week before. Then we talked about watching the The Great Gatsby films and a quote from F. Scott Fitzgerald’s book that seems to be popping up lately in connection with the Trumps and their cronies: “They were careless people Tom and Daisy -they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made.”
We talked about the Amy Coney Barrett hearings and the reasons why Republicans were so adverse to the Affordable Care Act. We talked about Canada and their socialized medicine and higher taxes and tax free shopping days that Canadians planned around. This fortuitously reminded us that Tuesday was Amazon Prime Day. We talked more about what a constitutional strict constructionalist or originalist is and then about patriarchal values of good old boy networks and their misogyny. That segued into breast implants and how some of these bros buy them for their girlfriends, and which men on the call liked them or preferred au natural. We talked about political correctness, racism and a skit on that Saturday’s Saturday Night Live that touched on this with old school Mafia parlance, as well as about the VP Debate skit which highlighted the fly on Pence’s head, which some liked, some felt fell flat.
From here we veered from our otherwise “normal” conversation (in quotes because what actually is normal these days?) One of our regulars took this day to introduce us to her newly acquired little rescue dog. Her hopes to prop him up adorably on her lap in her Zoom box were dashed when the dog spotted a giant cockroach running around her apartment and made that his determined focus. We watched as he chased it and her behind him, all of us squeamishly ew-ing and shrieking along. We had the full view of the dog chasing it around the bed, under the bed, into the bathroom and out again. We shared our own icky cockroach stories and suggestions of how to kill it. Hairspray and poison were out because of the dog. One suggested “forking it” as she had done to a mouse running across her table on a distant Greek island holiday. Forking (obviously) and stamping it were ruled out as too hard, the critter was too fast. So we collectively decided the best way was to put a cup on it, to capture and release, or destroy. After some searching our roach pursuer secured a plastic take-out container for this purpose. We then watched as she chased the bug around her room, her little dog in equal pursuit. Upon a good suggestion, I pulled up the “Mission Impossible” theme song and played is as she did this. All eyes were on her effort. After much effort she successfully got it, and then was left with the dilemmas as to what to do next. She set up a second Zoom box with her phone camera so we could have a close-up of the container covered bug on the floor. The consensus then was to slip a piece of cardboard under the container and remove it that way. But this wasn’t so easily done as the bug was bouncing around under the container. We urged her to keep a book on it in case it knocked the container over as we all had a healthy respect for the power and intelligence of cockroaches. Eventually she did get a piece of cardboard under the bug, the sturdy back of a legal pad. Then the next subject discussed was what to do with the bug. We let her have a hiatus at this point, while her little dog very pointedly guarded the bug. We thought about maybe saving it for her house cleaner to deal with two days hence, but decided that wasn’t very fair. We thought about throwing it out the window, but posited the possibilities of it flying back in or crawling back up her arm (ew). We discussed walking it outside, but that required trips down a long hallway, an elevator and through a lobby. I suggested flushing it, but it perhaps being the water bug version of the cockroach family, some were afraid it might somehow survive and crawl out. Noting our collective focus on the cockroach capture, someone very aptly commented “This is what happens when Broadway isn’t open.”
We then suggested calling a regular of ours, then not on the call, who lived close to her and who might come over to help. She did call him and muted herself on the Zoom while she had an extensive conversation with him. We returned to talking about other critter experiences, one woman now living in a woodsy area talked about a chipmunk who visited her ever day, getting inside somehow, and about having to chase deer from her bird feeders, also daily. We talked about raccoons in the suburbs where some of us grew up and in Central Park which is near where a lot of us live. I told them how I found a tree in the Park where two days in a row I’ve seen a family of eight or more racoons assembled, always at around 7:00 pm. A small gathering would form around the tree, at a respectful distance, of course, with all of them, with their masked faces, looking back at us with our masked faces videoing and taking pictures of them. We talked about rabies and vaccinating wild animals, like racoons, in New York. We discussed possible bug repellants to protect against cockroaches and ants and even bees. Vinegar and peppermint and lemon juice and even dryer sheets were suggestions. And then we saw our friend disappear a bit from the screen with the phone still pressed to her ear. She came back and triumphantly declared The Bug had been Flushed. We were all very happy. Her dog was less so, and we watched him pace in and out of the bathroom looking for his tiny icky playmate. After a bit he gave up and crawled into a sleepy ball on the ottoman next to her chair.
With the cockroach chapter closed we progressed back to other topics. We talked about high heels, which no one is wearing now, and how in the Before Times we dealt with banging them up on city streets and getting them stuck in lawns at weddings, outdoor events, and even the occasional horse derby. We reminisced about work wear back when we went to offices, one woman sharing an anecdote about when she discovered that certain bathing suits were more appropriate than others for work trips. She was in finance when younger so we discussed the “finance bro” culture again, and how before the Me Too movement harassment was considered par for the course. We talked about men bothering women in the office, in the subway, and in clubs, and some shared some experiences. We went from there to talking about many of the functional alcoholics we knew, especially back when drinking at work functions and after work with colleagues was a mainstay. Then we talked about when we learned to hold our alcohol and manage ourselves in those milieu. We returned to talking about the very cute dog snoozing by our friend and then about her concerns about having to neuter him. We argued over whether she should (I’m against it, he’s survived until the age of three already so why bother). And then we ended on talking about eunuchs and what we think we know about them, which wasn’t much since most of us only know of them through Game of Thrones.
